As many of you know, Georgia is famous for a number of things; voting scandals, peaches, Jimmy Carter, Peanut Butter, Chace Ambrose, talking newts, losing college football games, Uncle Remus, and jibbery-style oinkery what make no sense a 'tall.
But perhaps our most precious commodity is red Georgia clay. Many of our roads, outside the big cities, look like this:
And let me tell you, this stuff is slick. In fact, most of Georgia lacks roads that are fit to travel with the normal vehicle. Now whereas we could just put some off road diesel in a nice pick-up truck and drive our proton packs down the road, we have decided to expel Dexter immediately. I mean, we decided to obtain a vehicle to kill two-birds with one stone:
The Ecto-Grader.
You see, you big city folks with your Philadelphia Lawyers don’t understand the plight of the poor dirt farmer. Us “wool hat” boys in South Georgia have to take care of folks right proper. Indeed, we’re Talmadge and Maddox men down from our boots to our hats. Eugene dogs, Eugene cats, we got all of that.
Those folks in the “less urban” parts of our fair state need ghosts busted, too. And by buying this mighty fine piece of machinery, we can bring them those services for which we are well-renowned and make their roads traverse-able after a hard summer rain.
When we are finished “ecto-izing” this commercial grade road grader, it will have forty-five light-bars and a siren so loud it will wake up your great grandmother Janette.