Warning, This is a Rant

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I know I’m going to get a lot of heat for this, I’ll probably get into trouble, but it’s something I just need to rant about and get it out of my system. This isn’t about me, since I’ve come back I’ve had a much better experience this time around which is incredibly surprising considering the ■■■■ I went through. No, this is about an issue that needs to be addressed.

This is what I need to rant about.

Between the time I first left and the time I decided to come back I’ve met up with past GBFans members. Every one of them would tell the exact same horror story. Heck I met a prop builder on another forum who said he didn’t want to join this site because he heard it is too hard on it’s members. If he heard about it, who else has? If I were in charge of a Forum, that’s not kind of reputation I would want for it. Can you imagine the number of potential members that have decided not to sign up here because of this?

Then when I decided to eventually come back and give this place another chance I was told that steps were being made to make this site a better Online community, that new rules have been applied. As I stated earlier I have had a surprisingly pleasant experience since I’ve come back, so those changes have been effective. Yet I still see the same kind of ■■■■. Oh sure the worst offender that comes to mind has been banned (won’t give name) but I see still bashing going on.

In the last week or so I’ve seen member(s) gang up on a newbie simply because he asked the questions every newbie asks or if they started a thread and didn’t word something “Correctly”. Hell, when one newbie mentioned the cost of parts (something that tends to be a shock to every New Member) his comment was Buried by the community. Why? Do people have that big of an issue with a stated Fact? This is not the first time it’s happened either. I mean geez, with mentality like that it’s no wonder new guys and gals leave or decide to lurk rather than be active community members.

I never saw the reasons behind it either, does it give those members a false sense of superiority or power? To quote a man I respect “Power comes from respect from others, not an unqualified ability to bash others at whim.”

It’s bullying. No matter what you call it, that’s what it boils down to. If there’s one thing I hate it’s a bully.

Of course you wouldn’t see it on any other site: Because It’s not allowed. The reason it’s not allowed is because it causes drama and disrupts the forums. Hell, I’m pretty sure this rant is going to attract even more bashing because it’s be like throwing Chum into the water to attract Sharks. But the fact is, if this shit wasn’t going on, I wouldn’t have anything to Rant about in the first place.

So, how to deal with this issue, how do we keep this sort of thing from happening again and again? I see two solutions:

** A) **The Mods and Administrators crack down on these repeaters.

Or the less dramatic choice:

** B)** Those doing the Bashing need to make a conscious effort to simply ignore the threads that they feel the need to bash in. I mean, they are not contributing anything positive anyway, so if don’t like the thread move on to one you do like. Simple as that. In fact, after reading all this give it a try, you don’t like it move on.

Okay, I think I got it out of my system. Hopefully I don’t need to do this again.

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As someone who is/was guilty of this, id like to say this is a very well worded thought out post.

I personally have been trying to only post helpful things or at least make it know that the comments which are not helpful are meant to be taken as jokes by adding an emoticon at the end. If found in doing that little gesture there is often a lot less drama and the thread is not derailed by a flame war. Its just accepted as a joke and the discussion is continued.

Also I personally feel a better sense of accomplishment when my humor is understood and my advice is taken in to consideration.

Id also like to throw out there that when someone is offended and takes a statement as an insult or is just choosing to bait you to get involved in a bashing war its best to just tell them your not getting in to the drama with them wish them luck apologize and move on.

Its not worth anyone’s time to get involved in that crap and nothing positive comes from it either.

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I’m not familiar with the specific event you’re referring to, 77.

If there are any instances where something’s perceived to be bullying, or at the very least where several members gang up against one, or if a group of members appear to be conspiring to bury a post, that’s what the Report Post button is there for.

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Moderators are unable to view every single post, and if they are they aren’t always able to do anything about it at the time. (ex, being on mobile).

This is a two way road though. The most under utilized feature of the site is this:

image

The report button.

Most users for some reason feel like they are above having to use it and decide to take matters into their own hands and deal with negativity with more negativity.

We have gone to great lengths to improve the site in the past 6 months. You will find the experience has greatly improved. That being said, there are still some people out there that will be victimized for no reason what so ever. That is not a problem of the site, there are just certain people that always play the victim if they don’t get their way 100% of the time. We deal with that on this site more than anything else now.

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I think there will always be people who are going to “bash” or “bullying”. Unfortunately that is the way of the world. Some times they are actually “bashing/bullying” and other times it just gets misinterpreted. I have found most every time I have been marked as posting something 'negative" it is all because of misinterpretation. Once that happens, it is very difficult to get things corrected.

For you suggestions:

A) As AJ said, for this to occur we need to make use of the “Report” button so they are aware of the issue and can take proper action.

B) Obviously you can’t change other people. The only thing you can control is your actions. We can’t make the “bashers” ignore threads, though it would be wonderful and a lot easier if we could. So I think when we see it happen to others, respond positively, not negatively. I find that for myself it is very easy to “complain” that “bashing/bullying” is going on, but it is difficult for me to provide positive resolutions/actions/responses. So let’s all just respond positively when a negative post pops up. If more people post positively than negatively it shouldn’t be as big of problem as it has been in the past. In order for it not to be escalated more than it needs to be we may just need to ignore the negative post all together. Many times it seems addressing the negative post(s) causes more issues than the negative post itself caused.

I remember before the “actions to improve the site” started being implemented people would complain about certain “bashers” and how they caused so many issues on this site. Well now those certain “bashers” are gone and here we are still talking about (more) “bashers”. So I don’t think it is limited to a subset of members or removing members will solve the issue. We will all need to do our part to keep threads positive. And also remember that the “bashers” add value to the site to at times.

Finally I want to say usually “rants” are a bunch of negative comments and remarks, which are a giant contradiction to what the purpose of the “rant” is. Most the time they contain messages like “This sucks!”. I have found in my daily life approaching things with a “Things could be better if we did XYZ” message works better. Seems more people are open to these kinds of discussions than “ranting” discussions. I will say you have been heard and I hope we can work together to make the site more positive in the future. :slight_smile:

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Honestly, I don’t feel like this community is really anymore harsh than any other, I just find different communities have different ways of displaying negativity. Some are a bar fight, some are like being around a family of lunatics destroying each other with psychological warfare. Pick your poison.

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Been here almost 10 years now. Take peoples opinions and comments with a grain of salt.

Opinions they are like assholes: everyone has em, nobody wants to hear em and they all stink anyway.

The mods do the best job they can. If we don’t feel like clicking on a report post button (happening less and less lately) because they dont wanna be that guy…that and id be banned for half the words that flow from my mouth.

The words of one do not echo the sentiment of the rest.

That said, im happy with the community. A lot of free flow of ideas go on here and we all look out for each other. There’s a lot of good left here. We just need to find a way to mobilize it…

Yeah… I’ve been drinking again :wink:

Your rant is appreciated. We sometimes and I do speak for everyone here, share something we’ve all loved for a long time. We sometimes get on each others nerves because of our differing opinions, ideas and what not.

Point is; we should be taking care of each other rather than fighting and complaining about each other.

Man, feel the love.

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-There are also those who victimise others for no reason, who we work to remove from this forum when we can.

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The thing about this topic is this is a place that should be free of bullying and negativity towards people. We are all here for the same reason and for one person to put down another or thrash another for what they are doing is bull shit. People should not have to take things with a grain of salt or fell unwelcome to post things they are proud of. No one here should be or feel like a victim. Period.

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My point is. There exist people who will always make themselves into the victim, no matter the situation. It is like trolling, but to the other extreme. In real life these would be the type of people that cause an accident and then threaten to sue everyone else. Unable to take responsibility for own actions, needing to find / cause a problem when none is there.

I think as drjameshouse said. There will always be people that misinterpret something that isn’t negative and force it to become negative. Then cause a problem.

Those people exist too, as do the trolls and bullies.

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I have to say though, over the last year with the banning of a certain member or two the community is a lot more positive than it used to be. We do exhibit a lot more patience and positive feedback. Those folks would go right for the jugular right away and bully them into leaving. Thankfully that’s done with.

But that doesn’t mean that the criticism or “bashing” that does happen isn’t done without good reason. Sometimes the folks that do cry “bully” just don’t know how to take criticism. It’s a common thing I’ve seen over the years where new users think that a shared interest in a movie means we should only say nice things to each other no matter what the quality of something is. Suggesting improvements and letting people know when a bad idea is a bad idea is being honest. I know we’re all here for fun, but we’re not here to be delusional.

And for whatever reason Ghostbusters can be a magnet for dinguses. As much as the community has improved, there’s only so much going around in circles we can tolerate before we get frustrated.

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Well said Vee.

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Totally agreed.

I teeter on borderline offensive on the best of days and while I try to keep most of my posts on the positive and encouraging, its easy to see the dingi…

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See now this I completely disagree with. I’m here to get information of movie accurate props and share what I’ve made. Other people are here to show off a fan film they made or some fan art or a car they slapped a GB logo on or the Kenner toy they just added to their collection. Most of the time I couldn’t care less about stuff like that as it stays in its own section but when stuff is posted in general or in a section I’m interested in unless the person states their intentions or where they’re coming from with their post I’ll treat it the same as someone who shares my interests. If someone puts the wrong resistors on a pack and posts it in the pack section and doesn’t declare that they aren’t going for movie accuracy or that they understand already that the parts are wrong I’ll point it out. This isn’t being negative or bullying it’s neither side knowing what the other is intending with their post due to lack of communication.

And what a lot of people constantly forget is this is an emotionless medium. You can convey a feeling through text if you’re good at writing AND the other person is good at reading but more often then not people mis-read or read into text what they think the other person is trying to express and take it how they want and not how it’s intended. An inherently negative person who’s expecting negative response will always get it no matter the actual content.

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I found the community became less harsh when I became less stupid.

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What is your definition of Stupid? I would really like to know.

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The attitude around here has been better as of late. I think it is a welcome change. However, this trend of grown adults claiming they are victimized by bullying is pretty much played out.

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If you think Bullying stops at adult then you are mistaken.

"One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and "show them who is boss."

There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

**

Narcissistic Adult Bully:**</B> This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.

**

Impulsive Adult Bully:**</B> Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.

** Physical Bully:** While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim’s property, rather than physically confronting the victim.

** Verbal Adult Bully:** Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.

** Secondary Adult Bully:** This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.

Workplace bullying can make life quite miserable and difficult. Supervisors should be made aware of adult bullies, since they can disrupt productivity, create a hostile work environment (opening the company to the risk of a law suit) and reduce morale.

It is important to note, though, that there is little you can do about an adult bully, other than ignore and try to avoid, after reporting the abuse to a supervisor. This is because adult bullies are often in a set pattern. They are not interested in working things out and they are not interested in compromise. Rather, adult bullies are more interested in power and domination. They want to feel as though they are important and preferred, and they accomplish this by bringing others down. There is very little you can do to change an adult bully, beyond working within the confines of laws and company regulations that are set up. The good news is that, if you can document the bullying, there are legal and civil remedies for harassment, abuse and other forms of bullying. But you have to be able to document the case.

Adult bullies were often either bullies as children, or bullied as children. Understanding this about them may be able to help you cope with the behavior. But there is little you can do about it beyond doing your best to ignore the bully, report his or her behavior to the proper authorities, and document the instances of bullying so that you can take legal action down the road if necessary."

Perhaps you should also read this article of the Long term effects of Bullying in adults who have been bullied as a Child.

http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/far-from-being-harmless-the-effects-of-bullying-last-long-into-adulthood.html

I can tell you from personal experience that the effects do not go way as you reach adulthood, and all it takes is one Jackass to open up old wounds.
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But… none of that stuff is really happening here anymore? The only thing that can be misconstrued as “bullying” right now is when we give honest feedback when it’s asked for and it’s taken as a personal attack. And sometimes doofs are just doofs. No matter how you sugarcoat things or post a long, well-written response they won’t get what’s going on.

Thanks for copy-pasting all those, though. :confused:

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Well, Vee, I thought it would be just better to just copy and paste the info rather than just post a link. I was paste the long term effects information but that would’ve made the post too long to read.

There’s a difference between being Honest, and being Brutally Honest. Likewise there’s a difference between constructive criticism and just criticizing.

You might think it’s not happening, but it is. Maybe not as bad as it was this time last year (If it were I wouldn’t be here right now.) but it’s still going on. Or at the very least, it’s being interpreted as bullying. Sometimes I can’t tell because Of what I went through, and I know I’m not the only one.