This is not a conventional fan fiction story, but rather a riff on the use of real-world publications in the montages of the first two films. I’ve always thought Who’s Who entries were interesting, and I thought they would be a fun way of looking at the characters from a different perspective. Without any further ado, I present
GHOSTBUSTERS: WHO’S WHO
BARRETT, Dana Marie, cellist; b. Boston, Mass., Oct. 8, 1949; m. (1) Dec. 12, 1986, Andre Wallance, violinist, div. Sep. 22, 1988; (2) Feb. 2, 1994, Peter Venkman, parapsychologist (q.v.). *Education: *Peabody Inst., 1970, B.M.; Juilliard School, 1972, M.M. Honorary degrees: Peabody Inst., 2002, D.M.A. *History: *cello, Boston Symphony Orchestra, Boston, 1979-81; cello, National Symphony Orchestra, Washington, D.C., 1981; cello, Philharmonic-Symphony Society of New York, Inc., New York, 1982-94 (assistant principal cello, 1994-98); conservator, Manhattan Museum of Art, New York, 1988-89; principal cello, The Louis and Ophelia Winthorpe Chair, The Five Boroughs Symphony Orchestra, New York, 1998- . *Awards: *2nd Prize, Rostropovich International Cello Competition (1980). Children: Oscar James Venkman (né Wallance), musician. Siblings: Douglas Barrett, newspaper reporter (q.v.); David Barrett, baseball player (q.v.). *Address: *112 Ocean Ave., Amityville, N.Y.
DOUAI-YBES, Norman Hugues, psychologist and parapsychologist; b. Quebec, Quebec, Feb. 20, 1945. *Education: *McGill U., 1965, B.A.; Leland Stanford Junior U., 1967, M.A., 1969, Ph.D. *History: *research scientist, psychology, U. of California, Irvine, 1969-73; assistant professor, psychology, Harvard U., 1973-77; associate professor, psychology, Columbia U., 1977-85 (professor, psychology, 1985-1990); independent scientist, 1990- . *Author: *Organizational Psychology Underpinning Soviet Economic and Political Resilience; The Ineluctable Narrowness of ‘Internet’ Connectivity; The Psycho-Social Inevitability of a Mondale Landslide; The Gozer Hoax; The New Year’s Fraud; Public Choice and Paranormal Removal; The Appeal to Authority as Basis for Quasi-Monopolistic Paranormalism; The Occult, Moral Panics, and Psychological Safety; Alternatives to Fusion-Based Exorcism. *Address: *1313 Reactor Rd., New York.
MELNITZ, Janine, businesswoman, b. Brooklyn, New York, N.Y., Oct. 28, 1952. *Education: *Manhattan U., B.A., 1987, M.B.A., 1994. *History: *temporary work, Happy Time Temporary Services, New York, 1969-75; secretary, Runway, New York, 1975-77; secretary, IBC Broadcasting, Inc., New York, 1977-80; secretary, Mode, New York, 1980-81; secretary, Sharps Magazine, New York, 1981-84; secretary, Ghostbusters Inc., 1984, 1989-93; director, Happy Time Temporary Services, New York, 1984-1989; office manager, Zeddemore Electric, New York, 1993; vice president, Zeddemore Combined Services Co., New York, 1993-95; chief operations officer, Zeddemore Industries Ltd., New York, 1995-2012; president and CEO, Melnitz Consulting, 2012-21; president and CEO, Ghostbusters Inc., New York, 2021- . *Author: *What Do You Want? *Address: *68 West Eighty-ninth St., New York. Office: Urania Building, 730 Fifth Ave., New York.
PECK, Walter Anthony, attorney and public servant; b. Boston, Mass., Jul. 30, 1947. *Education: *Harvard U, 1965, A.B.; U. of Pennsylvania Law School, 1968, J.D. *Honorary degree: *Columbia U., 2023, LL.D. History: associate, Dewey, Cheatham & Howe LLP, Cambridge, Mass., 1968-69; associate, Richard, Johnson, & Wiener LLP, Boston, Mass., 1969-74; partner, ■■■■, Schwanzstucker & Peck LLP, New York, 1974-1977; assistant U.S. attorney, Eastern District of New York, 1977-81; staff attorney, U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Region 3, 1981-83 (deputy regional counsel, Region 2, 1983-84; regional counsel, Region 1, 1984-89); staff attorney, Internal Revenue Service, 1989-91; chairman, Paranormal Contracts Oversight Commission, New York, 1991-93; deputy counsel, U.S. Mission to the United Nations, 1994-97; general counsel, Recording Industry Association of America, 1997-2003; general counsel, Motion Picture Association of America, 2003-07; deputy general counsel, general secretariat, International Association of Football Federations, 2007-10; director-general, International Olympic Committee, 2010-14; public advocate, City of New York, 2014-22; mayor, City of New York, 2022- . Address: Archibald Gracie Mansion, Carl Schurz Park, New York. Office: New York City Hall, City Hall Park, New York.
SPENGLER, Egon Löwe, parapsychologist, nuclear physicist, pathologist, and mycologist; b. Cleveland, Oh., Nov. 21, 1944, d. Summerville, Okla., Jul. 30, 2021; marital details withheld by request. *Education: *Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 1965, B.S.; Johns Hopkins U., 1968, M.D.; Columbia U., 1969, Ph.D.; New York U., 1975, Ph.D.; Massachusetts Inst. of Technology, 1980, Ph.D. *Honorary degrees: *U. of Philadelphia, 1987, LL.D.; Cambridge U., 1987, Sc.D.; Brown U., 1988, LL.D.; Dartmouth Coll., 1990, LL.D.; Harvard U., 1990, Sc.D.; Princeton U., 1990, LL.D.; U. of Pennsylvania, 1991, Sc.D.; Yale U., 1992, Sc.D. History: pathology fellow, Johns Hopkins U., 1973; deputy coroner and coroner’s physician, New York County, 1973-75; theoretical physics fellow, Columbia U., 1975-79; consultant, U.S. Dept. of the Navy, 1979-81, 1985-2021, and U.S. Dept. of Energy, 1980-2021; research scientist in the Department of Psychology, Columbia U., 1981-84; paranormal investigation and removal technician, Ghostbusters Inc., New York, 1984, 1989-93; Nikola Tesla senior fellow, Inst. for Advanced Theoretical Research, Manhattan U., New York, 1985-2021; William Dyer senior fellow, Wilmarth Inst., Miskatonic U., Arkham, Mass., 1986-2021; Sidney Gottlieb professor, practical applications, Horlicks U., Libertyville, Penn., 1987-94; Carnacki professor, ------ Coll., Cambridge, Eng, 1987-2021. *Author: *Induction of Charged Particles in the Context of Controlled Positron Collision; Effects of Charged Particles on Psychokinetic Energy Fields (co-author); Evidence for Manipulable Effects of Muons on Psychokinetic Energy Fields; Evidence for Projection of Concentrated Non-dispersive Energy Through Natural Media; Implications of Phobogenic Radio Frequencies for Involuntary Dissociation; Theoretical Architecture of the Geneva Bioelectrical Experiments; Electromagnetic Properties of Human-Inhabited Buildings and Their Effects on Psychophysiologically Abnormal Corpses; Psychopharmacological Considerations in Treating Springwood Sleeping Syndrome; Neurological Irregularities in Lesh’s “Subject T” as Somatic Indicators of Extrasensory Perception; Practical Applications of Manipulable Boson Effects; Practical Applications of Psychomagnetheric Effects in Interpersonal Conflict Resolution; Necrobotics as an Alternative to Pharmaco-Magical Postmortem Automation; Observations on Anthropopathogenic Fungi; Theory and Practice of Dark Matter Generation and Manipulation; Practical Mycoremediation of Industrial Irradiation; Abiogenesis in Light of Psychomagnetheric Effects; Peculiar Behavior of Gravity in the Context of Spengler-Stantz Induction; Abiotic Byproducts of Fungal Cultivation; Mechanical Control of Meson Collision; The Engines of the Great North-Western Railway. *Awards: *Nobel Laureate in Physics (1985, Spengler-Stantz induction; 1993, dark matter) and in Chemistry (1997, mycotransmogrification). Siblings: Hon. Edith Spengler-d’Herblay, U.S. circuit judge for the 6th Circuit (q.v.); Most Rev. Eleazar Spengler, diocesan bishop of Arkham, Mass. (q.v.); Rabbi Ephraim Spengler, rabbi, Barnard’s Crossing, Mass. (q.v.); Dr. Elon Spengler, president, Wastesbusters Inc. (q.v.). Children: Callie Spengler, paranormal investigator-eliminator. Address: 13 Whateley Rd., Summerville, Okla. Office: 1172 Amsterdam Ave., New York.
STANTZ, Raymond Ignatius, parapsychologist, mechanical engineer, and occultist; b. Partridgeville, N.Y., Jul. 1, 1952.* Education: *Columbia U., 1965, B.S., 1967, M.S., 1969, Ph.D. Honorary degrees: Edgestow U., 1990, Sc.D.; Marshall Coll., 1991, Sc.D. *History: *polymer scientist, Deutsch Industries, New York, 1970-1975; mechanical engineer, Hidalgo Trading Co., New York, 1975-79; research scientist in the Department of Psychology, Columbia U., New York, 1979-1984; paranormal investigation and removal technician, Ghostbusters Inc., New York, 1984, 1989-1993; proprietor, Ray’s Occult Books, New York, 1985- ; J. Van Helsing fellow, Bracton Coll., Edgestow, Eng., 1990- . Author: Effects of Charged Particles on Psychokinetic Energy Fields (co-author); Molecular Peculiarities in G. W. Carver’s Reproduction of Robur’s X Paper; Contributions Toward Complete Reproduction of Nemo’s Electrical Power Plant; Evidence in Support of Challenger’s Description of Ectoplasmic Residue; Inconsistencies in Shrewsbury’s Analysis of Relict Cult Patterns in the Western Hemisphere; Evidence for the Existence of Autonomous Robotic Organisms; Cryptozoological Indicia in the Pacific Northwest; Electromagnetic Irregularities of the Kansas Cyclone of 1939; Peculiarities of the ‘Deathcoaster’ in the Kandar Tapestry; Distributed Computing and the World Wide Web; Alchemical Workings of Zartosht Magus in the Court of Ahmad Sanjar; Practical Applications of Hedy Lamarr’s Frequency Hopping (co-author); The Harker-Murray Papers Revisited; Legend-Tripping in Cabrini-Green; Evidence for the Existence of the Chupacabras. *Awards: *Nobel Laureate in Physics (1985, Spengler-Stantz induction). *Siblings: *Gen. John Chrysostom Stantz, military officer (q.v.); Mary Magdalene Stantz-Pickman-Showalter, artist (q.v.). *Address: *33 St. Mark’s Place, New York.
TULLY, Louis Pasteur, attorney and accountant; *b. *Manhattan, New York, N.Y., Apr. 18, 1953; m. Apr. 24, 1995, Jennifer Zener, attorney. Education: Yeshiva Coll., 1970, B.A.; Fordham U. School of Law, 1987, J.D. Professional qualifications: C.P.A., 1972; E.A., 1975. *History: *tax associate, Price Waterhouse, New York, 1971-80; proprietor, Louis Tully, CPA, PLLC, New York, 1980-87; senior partner, Tully & Co. Professional Services, LLP, 1987-95; comptroller and general counsel, Ghostbusters Inc., New York, 1989-93; principal, Tully & Tully Taxes & Probate Services, New York, 1995- . Author: Clean Living on a Budget; Savings and Investment on a Budget; A Sound Mind in a Sound Body. *Address: 853 Seventh Ave., New York. Office: *534 West 50th St., New York.
VENKMAN, Peter Damian, parapsychologist and academic; b. Sedalia, Mo., Sept. 21, 1950; *m. *Feb. 2, 1994, Dana Barrett, cellist (q.v.). *Education: *Columbia U., 1965, B.S., 1967, M.S., 1969, Ph.D.; Duke U., 1971, Ph.D. *Honorary degrees: *New York U., 1992, L.H.D.; Columbia U., 1993, Litt.D. *History: *research scientist in the Department of Psychology, Columbia U., 1970-75 (assistant professor, psychology, 1975-80; associate professor, parapsychology, 1980-84); chairman, president, and CEO, Ghostbusters Inc., 1984, 1989-93; professor, parapsychology, Duke U., Durham, N.C., 1984-87; host, World of the Psychic with Dr. Peter Venkman, WKRR-TV, 1987-92; president, Inst. for Psychic Research, State U. of New York, Stony Brook, 1993-99; Impey Barbicane professor, public-private partnership, U. of Baltimore, 1999-2000; chancellor, State U. of New York, Coney Island, 2000; deputy mayor, deregulation and the freer market, City of New York, 2000-01; professor, communication and media studies, State U. of New York, Cortland, 2002-18 (emeritus, 2018- ). *Author: *Physiological Aspects of Extrasensory Perception; Electromagnetic Stimulation and Suggestibility; Ethical Failures of Zimbardo’s Stanford Prison Experiment; Structural Inadequacy of Zimbardo’s Stanford Prison Experiment; Confirmation Bias and the Mistaken Public Understanding of Zimbardo’s Stanford Prison Experiment; Barnum, Houdini, and the Psychological Architecture of Mediumistic Humbuggery; Theoretical Underpinnings of the ‘Bavarian Fire Drill’; Negative Consequences of Under-Supervised Public Bureaucracy; Walter Peck Can Suck It. *Awards: *officer of the Legion of Merit, 1993; officer of the Order of the Bath, Eng., 1997; chevalier of the Order of Holy Sepulchre, 1999. *Address: *112 Ocean Ave., Amityville, N.Y. *Office: *Van Hoesen Hall, 21 Graham Ave., Cortland, N.Y.
ZEDDEMORE, Winston Churchill, businessman; *b. *New York, Dec. 17, 1945; marital details withheld by request. *Education: *Master Electronic Warfare Systems Specialists-Strategic Course, 1980; U. of Nebraska, 1981, B.S., 1983, M.S.; Columbia U., 1990, Ph.D. *History: *U.S. Marine Corps, 1963-77 (gunnery sergeant, medically separated); U.S. Air Force, 1977-83 (chief master sergeant, retired); paranormal investigation and elimination technician, Ghostbusters Inc., 1984, 1989-93; proprietor, Zeddemore Electric, New York, 1984-93; president, Zeddemore Combined Services Co., New York, 1993-95; president and CEO, Zeddemore Industries Ltd., 1995- . *Author: *Prosopographical Remnants of Nephren-Ka in Fourth-Dynasty Texts; Parallel Developments in the Careers of Imhotep of Thebes and Imhotep of Karnak; General Contracting and Electromagnetic Interference: A Practical Guide; Practical Applications of Hedy Lamarr’s Frequency Hopping (co-author); The Tools and the Talent. *Children: *details withheld by request. *Siblings: *Frederick Douglass Zeddemore, general contractor; Mary Seacole Beaumont (née Zeddemore), banker (q.v.); Hon. Alfred Smith Zeddemore, U.S. marshal, Eastern District of New York (q.v.); Franklin Roosevelt Zeddemore, attorney; Dwight Eisenhower Zeddemore, architect. *Address: *Cranston House, Jersey City, N.J. *Office: *Urania Building, 730 Fifth Ave., New York.