Drafting a Screenplay

Right now I’m writing out a screenplay for a fan film that I thought would be cool. Now it’s more like a fan fic though because I’m not a director lol

It’s set in the present day, essentially twenty years after the “ghostbusting craze” has worn off and people have given up believing. Three university students, overwhelmed by debt and pressure to find jobs before they graduate stumble on a defunct franchise of Ghostbusters International and decide to use the equipment and business model to copy what they think was a fake paranormal removal company.

Unfortunately for them a powerful spirit starts killing people around the city and because of the paranormal nature of the murders, the new team of ghostbusters find themselves the prime suspects in the police investigation.

What do you guys think? Enough of a premise to go off? I’m trying to make nods to the original as I’m sure you see but not just say the same story as GB.

Not bad, just remember the original Ghostbusters was a lighter topic, not so much killing involved. Maybe make it possessions and all the heck these dopplegangers are raising.

You know what though, in the end it’s your creative energy. Have fun with it!

Very true, probably wouldn’t be as funny if people are being murdered and having their body parts strewn about. I’m trying to make it a little more like a horror story.

I don’t want it to be too warm and fuzzy, in other words I want it to be JMS’s Real Ghostbusters versus Slimer and the RGB

You have a valid point there and dont get me wrong nothing spices up a story as much as a body hitting the floor. All I am suggesting is that the body count be kept out of the realm of RAMBO or THE EXPENDABLES. Both are good films but Ghostbusters (methinks anyways) shouldnt be a blood bath.

Unless of course the GB’s are answering a call to Camp Crystal Lake or to an address on Elm Street…

(the later has been done before).

Here’s what I’ve got for the first few scenes:

FADE IN:

EXT. GB HQ STOREFRONT - 1987

A well-dressed reporter with an over-the-top hairdo stands in front of a downtown storefront. He speaks into a microphone.

REPORTER

If you believe in ghosts you’re not alone. Behind me is the first paranormal investigation and elimination franchise in Canada. For a fee, these professionals will remove anything that goes bump in the night.

The reporter shifts to the side to show the GB logo.

REPORTER

Whether Toronto’s ghost fever will last or if it’s as transparent as the spirits themselves remains the question.

FADE TO EXT. GB HQ STOREFRONT - 2014

The same storefront is worn down and in disrepair. A large ‘For Rent’ sign sits in the window. WORKER 1 and WORKER 2 walk up enter into the front door.

INT. GB HQ RECEPTION - DAYTIME

The inside of the building is as rundown as the outside littered with garbage, cobwebs and boxes. Worker 1 walks over to the switch and tries to turn on the lights but is annoyed to find not working. He turns to Worker 2.

WORKER 1

Should’ve known this would be a waste of time.

WORKER 2

Something’s pulling from the grid.

They slowly move to the back of the building, turning their flashlights as they get deeper into the darkness. Worker 1 knocks a piece of sensitive looking equipment onto the floor and loud crash resounds through empty the room.

WORKER 2

Be careful!

WORKER 1

Relax.

WORKER 2

It’ll be your funeral.

INT. GB HQ BASEMENT - DAYTIME

The two workers separately search a pitch-black basement with their flashlights but find only lifeless, dusty scientific equipment and furniture. Disinterested in the job after still not finding anything Worker 1 picks up a dusty ghost trap from a storage rack. He inspects it for a moment with annoyance then places it back down on the rack.

WORKER 1

Like I said, a waste of-

WORKER 2

I found it!

Worker 2 is beside the containment unit. A metal enclosure built into the wall with heavy-duty electrical cables connected to it. It’s an intimidating piece of equipment even with stacks of boxes in front of it and covered in dust from disuse. A small flashing red light shows that it’s still active unlike everything else around it.

Worker 2 stands in front of it inspecting it with his flashlight as Worker 1 approaches from behind.

WORKER 2

Something is on.

Worker 1 removes his hardhat to scratch his scalp.

WORKER 1

Where’s the breaker around here?

The two scan their flashlights around for a moment until Worker 1 spots a heavy metal breaker switch over on the far wall, which connects to the containment unit. He walks over without his partner and calmly grabs the handle.

WORKER 1

How about we call it a day now?

He pulls down hard on the heavy metal switch but it groans all the way until a click is heard.

WORKER 2

Sounds good to me. This place gives me the creeps.

The workers turn to leave when an ominous, incoherent whisper alerts them to another presence in the room. They look suspiciously at one another. They scan the area with their flashlights but see no one.

WORKER 2

Is anyone there?

Another incoherent whisper startles the two workers, but when they look around with their flashlights they’re still alone in the basement.

WORKER 2

Let’s get outta here, okay?

A strong wind blows from behind them.

WORKER 1

Yeah, good idea.

They start to walk back to the stairs when a dim blue/white light starts shining behind them from the same direction as the wind. Although they ignore it at first, the light grows brighter until it’s as powerful as their flashlights. The two reluctantly turn around to face the source of the light, but can’t help themselves. Their eyes burst open at the sight and mouths open in terror. They scream.

Sounds awesome!

Here’s a little more of what I got down:

EXT. TORONTO SKYLINE - DAY

The CN Tower looms over the other buildings in Toronto skyline during the middle of another normal day.

EXT. UNIVERSITY OF TORONTO - DAY

Students wander around the main field. They enter and exit the buildings of the downtown campus casually.

PROFESSOR (V.O)

Ancient Greece was plagued by war, famine and social upheaval. Their mythology was simply an attempt to explain the unpredictable world. It would be ridiculous to interpret the characters in heroic myths as true.

INT. LECTURE THEATRE CLASSICS DEPT - DAY

The PROFESSOR instructs the class with a monotone voice in a modern lecture theatre. His students, including SAM MANCINI take notes and listen to him with mild interest.

PROFESSOR (O.S.)

Consider Perseus, who, as barely more than a teenager, slayed a horrible monster. Suspending our disbelief in ghosts, demons and demi-gods for a moment, we can see why fifth-century rationalists mocked myths for their implausibility. This skepticism continued throughout the Hellenistic period.

SAM MANCINI is a senior at the university studying classics. He wears a crucifix around his neck showing his faith. His laidback attitude hides his courage and intelligence.

Mancini distractedly looks at his e-mails instead of the lecture.

He loads an email on his tablet and his eyes go wide. The email is from the student loans office. It shows his total amount owing as $40,000.

Mancini puts the tablet down nervously and tries to pay attention to the class for a second, but then he notices LILLAH, whom he’s never seen in the class before. She sits by herself, paying close attention to the lesson so she doesn’t notice Mancini staring.

LILLAH is a graduate student and the TA for the course. She gives off the air of an intelligent but casual young woman. Her wit and frankness make conversing with her interesting.

Nice work! I can’t wait to read more.

Looking good.

It’s getting a little long so I think it’s time to put this up on fan fiction or something, but anyway. Here’s the next couple of pages:

PROFESSOR

(cont’)

But who was the most famous Roman to continue this, Mr. Mancini?

Overhearing his name from the professor’s mouth startles Mancini back into the present. He clears his throat.

MANCINI

You mean as a skeptic?

The professor stares critically at Mancini for his lack of attention.

PROFESSOR

That is what we’re talking about Mr. Mancini.

Mancini considers the question deeply for a moment or two while the rest of the class stares at him.

MANCINI

Cicero.

The professor holds his reaction for a moment then frowns.

PROFESSOR

That’s correct.

Mancini returns his focus to the professor as the lesson continues, but he senses that he’s being watched so he turns his head to Lillah.

Unlike the first time he catches her looking in his direction. When their eyes meet, she shyly returns her attention to the lesson.

INT. UNIVERSITY HALLWAY - DAY

A crowd of students empties out into the hallway from the lecture theatre. Lillah walks away steadily with Mancini ducking and weaving through the crowd to catch her.

As he nears her though RICHARD KONEFAL arrives and gives him a friendly shove, which knocks him off course.

RICHARD KONEFAL is a senior business student. He’s usually down to earth but business easily excites him. He’s in high spirits to show Mancini his proposed business.

KONEFAL

Ready to go?

MANCINI

Good to see you too Richie.

KONEFAL

You know that only my parents still call me that, right?

MANCINI

I’ve known you for almost as long as them so why not.

The both grin as familiar old friends.

KONEFAL

And that’s why I put up with you. Now come on, Greg’s waiting.

MANCINI

You convinced him to leave his experiments for the afternoon?

Konefal smiles confidently and nods. The two turn around and head in the opposite direction as before.

KONEFAL

(whispers)

Who was that you were chasing?

MANCINI

Don’t know what you’re talking about.

KONEFAL

Come on Sam, I knew you had a crush on Jess Hunter in grade five.

Mancini stops abruptly in mid-step and stares Konefal down. Konefal turns to face him with a worried expression.

MANCINI

And it turned out she liked you instead.

Konefal shakes his head and looks completely clueless.

KONEFAL

No she didn’t.

MANCINI

She really did.

Mancini walks past shaking his head. Konefal is baffled.

Okay so I got the writing bug and finished it.

It’s posted here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9920759/1/Boys-in-Grey

Hope you like it.

Nice work! You did a great job on it I’m looking forward to more of you fanfiction.